Wednesday, 1 January 2014

A Year of Incredible High and Challenging Lows

I am the Warden and it's finally the end of 2013!!

Hmm, seems a bit harsh for this past year, doesn't it? It's been a dicey year (this time, pun not intended) and for the past week I've been really eager to see this one come to an end so we can get that "fresh start" feeling you get with January 1sts. I've never been a stickler for holidays and exact traditions, but the concept of setting goals and establishing a sense of revision with the launch of a New Year has always struck a chord with me and it's a welcome resort now more than ever.

Truthfully, there are many reasons why 2013 was a momentous and terrific year. Getting married, winning an ENnie, returning to the workforce (twice), taking an online graphic design program, dropping out of the online graphic design program, my wife going back to school, getting a car, and seeing the latest Hobbit with my nephew were the definite highlights. So why the eagerness to ditch those 365 days like a date with a woman you find out to be your cousin? Good question.

I guess it's all in the end of an experience. Years are a lot like drinking, if I can go a little stand-up comedy with this. As soon as you're face deep in a toilet bowl wishing you had stopped enjoying yourself two shots ago, that's the last taste you remember. That encapsulates 2013 very well because it was a great year for accomplishments, but ended with the harsh and puke-y taste of too much reality.

It's about control, something I've never felt was in my possession during 2010-2012, but really became the ultimate challenge in this millennium's thirteenth year. So much has risen and developed that I've been riding the wave for the past three months, never truly getting ahead of it, only working hard to keep up with it and juggling the chaotic white mist blocking my vision of the beach ahead. We have a saying in our house: This is exactly what we wanted, it's just happening all at once. 2014 has to be about getting back in control.

Part of that control - and yeah, I've been saying this for a couple of months, so forgive the skipping record - but I really need to get some writing/game design done. Or started. Or continued. I've always had some gaps in my design time over the years. It happened with Emerald Press when I went back to school and it's been happening for the last couple of months. My time has been so caught up in the maelstrom of adapting to the new jobs and dealing with both the physical and cognitive bruising after being docile for three years that it's been impossible for me to get the drive to get anything onto the page. If this were my wife's blog, she'd tell you how cranky I get when I don't get any writing started or completed when my heart's into it. I need to get ahead of this wave and get back in front of this keyboard.

It's a part of life. We ride it for as long as possible, but if we don't learn to steer, we'll only be able to see blurry glances of what passes us by. I want to take back control of my life. That's my New Year's resolution. And to all of you, I want to wish a sincere Happy New Year and hope you learn how to control the bus we call life.

(cracks knuckles)

Now how do I unlock life's steering wheel?